As a quick follow up to my bio my name is Jessica Schuller (often go by Jess or Jessie) and this is my blog…hooray! It's been a long time coming and I'm glad to finally be here. In my bio I explained that I'm a newbie to being in this position as an Artist, Blogger and Truth Teller. It hasn't been until recently that I landed myself here. That's not to say I haven't been wishing, hoping and dreaming about it for years. I've been a lover of art and creativity from way back when. Even as a kid I knew that art made me feel special. However, as years passed my relationship with art became challenged and less supported. For some reason our society encourages creativity only to a certain point. Once we've reached a particular age creativity becomes less of a focus and in some cases nonexistent.
I believe that the lack of support surrounding creativity left me feeling isolated and confused. For years I was conflicted, trying to fit the social molds while also yearning to live a creative life. This was a challenging dynamic to say the least. I basically spent several years in a tug-a-war between these two places! The outcome was a lot of mental exhaustion and getting nowhere. To make matters worse social expectations that I felt paralyzed me from being creative. I always felt guilty about taking the time to do it. Like I should be doing something more important. Sadly, at the same time I was telling myself and others that I was on the pursuit to being an artist.
Eventually I was given an opportunity that helped in breaking this vicious cycle. My husband was hired for a position that required us to move abroad. We quickly said yes and with ongoing discussions we decided I would devote my time to art. I felt that I had been given a gift and that gift was time. Time…. void of any obligations, family events, house projects, or jobs. For two full years I was given permission to be creative!!! Could this even be possible? Something I had wanted for so long was now staring me in the face. Initially the first feeling I had was guilt. That ugly emotion that kept following me around. Finally, I said the hell with it and started accepting the situation for what it was. As time went on the guilt began to lessen and the routine of being creative finally set in. It was like rekindling an old relationship. Everything began to feel more familiar which in turn allowed me to mentally relax . Something I hadn't done for a long time. Over and over with each day I began to feel more calm and still. Eventually I realized that it was the process of being creative that brought me to this place. Creativity had become less about the outcome and more about the connection. I was finally able to acknowledge creativity for what it was, and that was an outlet for me to be present. If there's one challenge we all have in life (one of the more difficult) it's to be present. Therefore, I am forever grateful to have creativity as my teacher and facilitator in the discipline of being present. This was ultimately the life lesson that helped me to break the vicious cycle of self-doubt, misunderstanding and denial of my truth.
I'm currently back in the states and doing well. I'm making and selling my art but with less pressure and more clarity. I now recognize what comes first and that's the sacred practice of being creative. I'm hoping to follow its lead and see where it takes me. We all have a sacred practice waiting to be tapped into. It's up to us to seek that out and to speak our truth.
Additionally, I want to thank my husband! He may not always have a sense of where I'm going but he's always there to help make it happen. I would not be in this position without that loyal support. We need to do more of this for each other so we can all reach our ultimate potential.